The Desire Not to Desire: How Our Superfluous Desires Impel Us to Suffer

Most desires and aspirations, which occupy one’s mind, are appear to be of internal nature, not imposed by an outside enviroment, free and prudent decisions of an individual, which has complete control over his aims and wants, have equally significant value. Unquestiongly, there is a prevalent opinion that every desire, arising in an individual, is essential and vital for him to function properly; and these desires are appropriate to be fulfilled and made a reality. But are some desires really that significant and crucial to one’s being? Aren’t they just indoctrinated from the outside or ignorantly taken for granted and marked as important?

A procession of wants and needs crosses and passes by through our mind during the waking time. Most of them stay persisent and rigid, thereby they compels us to perform numerous gestures and body movements in order to quench their lacerating fire, causing the inner turmoil. Some, which at first seems substantial and great, suddenly arise and silently die out within the lapse of a few seconds. Nevertheless, many people attach a great importance to both the first and the second, that it vastly destabilizes their inner, psychical point of equilibrium.

Desires as a source of suffering

Truly, the more desires and needs we have, the more probability that we experience some degree of suffering due to tempations to achieve our goals or inability to achieve it. In Buddhism, the main origin of suffering lies in unlimited desires and cravings of an individual for various types of things. There is a primary premise that not every desire is could be attained or completely attained, and both these deplorable situations result in frustration and distress. The Buddhism teachings posit the idea of eliminating suffering (duhkha) by not kindling a fire of desire (tuhna) that is one of the major hindrances in order to reach the final destination of blissful state (nirvana) and cessation of cycle of suffering (samsara).

The Buddhism philosophy excellently demonstrates the relevance and importance of having as less desires as possible; the tendency to mild ascetic lifestyle with the most vital, prudent desires (chanda) that do not lead one to suffering and disruption of one’s inner integrity. Therefore, it is most expediently to reduce or completely exterminate some desires that conduct to unpleasant sensations and unsatisfaction in life; stick to a minimalist lifestyle. Indeed, if one produces a careful introspection and a considerate analysis of oneself in order to study of what nature his strivings and wants are, one will be unpleasantly appaled that most of one’s desires are not only unnecessary, but they hinder one’s well-being, encumber with additional efforts and amplify his suffering threefold times than usually.

What desires could be extinguished?

With the reign of cosumerist culture, it has become an extremely popular and ubiqutous phenomenon to excessively purchase every single thing, or to chase after the objects that designate the owner’s prestige and authority. This exuberant blind flight for the possession as many material resources as possible has lead to the main manifestation of zeitgeist of the modern society called “rat race”. Rat race is a notion that denotes an ardent, furious fight for the rank and title in social hierachy, material possessions, relationships, which can be shortly characherized as the mindset “Be bigger and better than your neighbor”. But will you forever be growing bigger and better? Eventually, If you outrun your neighbor, someone stealthily will outrun you, and your desire to be the best and the first racer will never be completely and densely satisfied; and if you ever will be satisfied, then it is only a transitory state of your being and overall position in the boundless list of deluded participants.

The existing needs and desires instilled or hardwired in an individual may be divided into two main categories: personal and societal, or internal and external in other words.

The first category primarily includes basic needs and nessecities, such as the need in food, shelter, reproduction, comfortable temperature range, recreational, cognitive activiy.

The second category includes social policies to have belonging to some groups, friendships, fellowship, relationships, decent clothes, luxurious cars, apartments, houses, big amount of money.

In fact, most of the enlisted desires are not really that essential for inner well-being and general prosperity, and they may be completely eradicated from rampant, worldly prosecuting. The societal dictatorship and inner temptations of one’s being maintain the illusion of neccesity to endeavor every vague concept that randomly and chaotically pops up in one’s mind, that could result in serious, unforeseen tribulations and adverse circumstances of an individual.

The first desire that ought to be fully eradicated and extinguished is an aspiration to reproduce (to have sex), and it is also related to a relationship issue. To begin with, to find a suitable partner to perform this enterprise is a quite complex object for both sexes – either male or female. In order to be a desireable partner for the other person, you must comply with some critreria and standarts of that person. The most common standarts, prevailing in almost every society, are good looks, social status and money, material assets; and similarities in a character, worldview, hobbies are mostly in the last place. Likewise, any person can possess an image of his perfect type of a partner and following requirements for him in the head. Thus, the strong eagerness to attain a partner for relationships drives a person to face existing barriers and difficuties on the way to his goal of happiness, which is so an insignificant and miniscule fraction, compared to the miseries and losses a person have to experience. Even if a partner is found, other types of problems and obstacles will arise as soon as the relationship starts.

The second desires are abudant material possessions: money, sumptuous houses, cars, expensive clothes that are considered to be a guarantee of successful and prosperous life. In fact, most of the time, the ardent pursuit race for material goods have its importance in only merely to appear better and prestigious in the eyes of the others; to assert one’s right to be authoritative and influential. Nevertheless, every person is able to wisely cut down his exprenses and achieve the same decent quality of life, not resorting to getting into the wheel of chasing imposed means of luxuries. An individual can be completely content with few material goods, the most vital and neccesary for his living, discarding the supefluous and dictated from the outside.

The third group consists of involvement in excessive long-term relations with people. To begin with, It’s important to identify whether your relation with a person is profound and meaningful, not superficial and shallow; whether it brings you personal satisfaction and does not take your energy and time away. Anyhow, an interaction with people requires a certain amount of energy, even if it is a friendly mutual conversation; and every person has its own threshold for maintaining this activity at the adequate level. Many individuals deliberately encumber themselves with useless and unreasonable ties merely to appear better in society and not to look lonely, friendless, like a desolate outsider, compared to someone else’s social life. Thereby, people willingly take an additional strain on their mental capacities that could be avoided and reduced to zero.

Conclusion

Thus, in order to reduce an degree of extistential suffering and attain a less hectic life, it is crucial to possess an ability to prioritize your needs and strivings; to be able to discern between essential and non-essential desires, which are frequently deceptively presented as uncoditionally important to pursue, chase after, even with a low possibility to attain a respite from their satisfaction.