The Concept of “Living for Yoursef”: The Obscure and Dark Aspects

In the epoch of individualism, capitalism, the cult of success and self-improvement, wherein the society is atomized and individuals are segregated from each other, the concept called “living for yourself” prospers and gains new momentum. It postulates the chief tenets of the relevance of being a person with his own set of preferences in life, prioritizing his own needs above the needs of others, putting himself first.

In recent years, vociferous calls to stick to love for yourself have been pointedly bombarded, starting from all psychological sessions, magazines, books, and even popular articles and videos on the Internet. This “self” trend rapidly escalated to the unimaginable scales, leaving no thoughts of considering it as something potentially abnormal and devious.

It can be stated that the term “living for yourself”, which encompasses all other notions of pop psychology, such as self-care, self-love, self-help, self-worth, self-improvement, is based on the idea of focusing attention around your “I”, “ego”, “self”. Thus, it constructs its own cult of “healthy narcissism” (as it is implied in the corners of psychologists). In the convergerce of these fundamental tenets, the overarching principle of these notions has emerged onto the proscenium of all lifestyles — the term called “living for yourself”.

This peculiar concept emphasizes mainly positive connotations, especially in the modern era of individualism, which imply independence from the opinions of others, directing one’s life in a preferred rather than imposed direction, living in accordance with one’s own standards and values, taking responsibility for choices and actions, prioritizing one’s happiness and well-being over happiness and well-being of other people, and many more similar ideas.

However, behind the brilliance and attractiveness of this mellow-sounding and catchy phrase, grim and dire facts are hidden; fundamental existential facts that, upon careful examination, reveal their true essence and meaning, concealed truths that almost no one would want to hear and accept in most areas of human existence.

First of all, we did not choose to be born in this world, we did not have the opportunity to willingly give a consent to be born in this world. Our parents intentionally or unintentionally decided that we must be born, imposing their will on us and satisfying their primitive needs and desires to have a toy to play with, and then mercilessly regurgitate it into the society of similar toys, wherein from now on these hapless puppets continue to interact, often engaging in less than equitable and sincere mannerisms. Then the parents insinuated into our minds the idea that we are responsible and in charge for all kinds of troubles, miseries, hardships in our lives, which may be partially true, but it doesn’t negate the fact that the parents themselves condemned us to such an enviable fate — to be alive as a conscious being, enmeshed in the community of alike creatures.

Furthermore, by applying this term “living for yourself”, we implicitly presuppose that we free willingly came into existence, we asked for it, we craved for it, which is, of course, blatantly not true. Besides, we presuppose that by living for ourselves, we implicitly condone and exculpate all actions and deeds of our ancestors, starting from nonconsensually begetting us into this world and then causing some mental or physical harm or pressure in the form of traumas and injuries, the indelible scars of which are deeply etched into memory. This way, the foundational idea behind the term and the resulting branches of it haunt us throughout our lives, unwittingly affecting our behavior and life choices.

In society, being alive is often seen as conscious, free will; although this is undoubtedly wrong, since no individual has ever chosen this option to be born, and any individual is fully controlled by internal biological forces that make him desire pleasurable feelings and sensations, existence and avoid harm and injury, which can lead to horrific consequences, to the process of dying and, ultimately, the inevitable and irreversible death. Thus, the idea that a person lives for himself is an illusion sustained by intrinsic biological impulses and external societal expectations, clouding the mind with palatable and digestible narratives.

It is worth mentioning that it is extremely profitable for corporations, which produce products and prey on individuals who share the philosophy of putting themselves in the first place, to speculate on concepts from the category of “self”. Due to increased consumerism and flourishing capitalism, the importance of taking care of oneself is associated in this case with abundantly splurging money on one’s wants and needs, which allows to construct a façade of false well-being that overshadows real emotional and psychological problems. After all, a self-caring person in the modern world acquires a completely new and distorted meaning of seeking contentment primarily in material goods: in clothes, cosmetics, technologies, expensive food, and so on. This kind of outlook triggers an unavoidable cycle of ever-increasing needs for material possessions, which ultimately leads to inevitable disappointment and being an addicted slave to the money laundering corporations that give him a dose in the guise of a variety of “essential” goods. Therefore, the inner turmoil of not investing enough money into yourself, due to personal insecurities and feeling of not sufficient level of self-love, does not allow a person to be completely satisfied with inner peace and things he already possess at his disposal.

In conclusion, it can be determined that even if a person entirely embraces the central worldview and position of “living for yourself”, he is still a hostage to someone’s interests, first it was the interests of parents that brought him into existence without his consent and will, then it is the interests of society, which made up this newfangled concept and is mostly concerned about its economic development, and only in the last place are the interests of a particular individual, who, alas, has been forced to think that he is the master of his fate when, in reality, the strings of influence are often pulled by external forces beyond his control.